Can you keep a secret?

In today's social groups, gossip quickly becomes the root of all conversations, and evil. Do you ever wonder why or how we get caught up in gossiping so easily? I can confess that even though I try to avoid the "drama" that comes with everyday life, I've found myself caught up in my share of gossip. But what can we do to prevent getting sucked into this lifestyle? And furthermore, where can we share our deepest feelings without threat that a friend might spread them around or give us negative feedback that we don't want to hear?

When we vent to our friends, family, or spouse, we expect them to listen intently. However, we don't want their feedback unless it's to tell us we're right in whatever situation it might be. If the person we're venting to doesn't agree with us, then this could become a precursor to a fight. Some people try to find alternate ways to relieve problems like writing them down on paper, then crumbling (or tearing) the paper up and throwing it in the trash. Others keep diaries and some people use online blogs to voice their frustrations or opinions. There's an even newer online fad that has more people signing on. Websites that are created strictly for sharing your feelings, and even better, darkest secrets.

There are websites like Noteful, Confessions, and PostSecret that help people vent online. Since I've never heard of these sites until now, I decided to take a look at a few of the secrets that people posted. One on PostSecret reads: "My first rescue dog really did rescue me. Saving his life and the lives of my other dogs has kept me from taking my own". That is really deep! When I first heard about these sites, I was in shock. I thought to myself, "who would actually post a secret online...that seems so stupid". Pardon me for assuming the worst right off the bat because I was wrong.

I can completely understand why these people are posting their secrets. Although I have many of my own secrets and can't imagine ever sharing them on the Internet (some things you take to the GRAVE with you), I believe that letting out those emotions in any form has to feel better then keeping them bottled inside. After reading through these websites, I've noticed a pattern. These people are battling depression, anxiety, low self esteem/poor self image, and some are as simple as having a bad day.

Some secret websites allow other people to comment on the post. In reading about true confessions in Alone Together, I found that people actually enjoy hearing the opinions of complete strangers. Though the comments can be brutal, the person that posted the secret feels a sense of gratification knowning that someone read the secret and took the time to reply. It's an emotional investment by the person posting the secret. Whether they really care about what the stranger thinks, there is still an emotional vulnerability. Another good fact about posting secrets is your identity can remain a secret. The people reading and commenting can also choose to remain private.

Even though this is not a confessional website, I find myself replying to Yahoo! Answers.  At first, I felt like people might not like my answers, but once I started getting voted "best answer", I posted more and more. I eventually changed from anonymous to showing my screen name. I felt like I no longer had to "hide" behind my computer.

One secret I can divulge is that I battled with depression a few years ago. It was a feeling that I couldn't explain because I didn't understand what was wrong with me. I stayed inside most days with the black curtains blocking the sunlight out of my room. I slept a lot and lost a lot of weight. I painted my nails black and wore heavy black eyeliner. It took me a long time to open up enough to talk about it. When I realized that I could help people in my life through the experience I went through, I was very willing to discuss my depression. I I'll never know if one of these secret confessional websites would have helped me through those times, but I'd like to think maybe it would.

You never know what kind of day someone is having. It might just take a quick kind word or action to change their entire mood. I found this on PostSecret, and thought what a great idea!

I found this on my car after I came out of a store. It helped make a grumpy day a little brighter.
Thank you whoever you are! - Post Secret

A radio station in my area has a task they ask every listener to perform. When you are going through a drive-thru for your morning coffee or biscuit, purchase the order for the car behind you. This small act of kindness can mean the world to someone and really change the outlook of their day. A quote I really love that everyone should follow: "I always just thought if you see somebody without a smile, give 'em yours!" - Dolly Parton